Supernatural Fucking

The God of Genesis must be an idiot. How could He not know that if you stick two humans in paradise and tell them they can do anything they want except eat of that one tree, then eating from that tree will be the one thing they do? I mean really how can an all knowing spiritual being not know the nature of human nature that He created? Forbidden fruit is the sweetest.

OK, so according to the Christians we are condemned to death or firey hell or cease to exist or purgatory or whatever depending on your flavor because of the sin of disobedience and subsequent sins many of which I committed but lucky us God has a solution. Send His Son to die on the cross to save us from our sin. I mean someone has to die, right?

So how do you suppose that conversation between God and His Son went down? Did Christ suggest a solution or was Christ enjoying the company of a number of virgins and the Father approached Him?

“Hey Son, I have a dilemma. You know all those clay figures I created down there on earth? Well they have sinned against me and I have decreed death for them so would you mind becoming one of them and have yourself murdered for the purpose of the saving them? That way I am seen as good to my word and you get to be the hero!”

“Well sure Dad, all these naked virgins are getting a bit boring!”

Or was it Christ who brought it up?

“Hey Dad really, aren’t you being a bit harsh with that death sentence and all? I mean really it was just a little fruit. But, since you are the Law how about if I become a clay figure and get myself murdered for them? You know like a chicken or pig or goat that you have the little clay figures kill for you? We can call it my sacrifice for them. I get the death penalty satisfying your rather bizarre desire for death, fiery hell, etc., and the clay figures get to join us up here if they believe that is what I did for them.”

“Great idea Son!”

Now how exactly did this pregnancy of Mary go down? God the Father right? Mary one of God’s Children. OK, weird! OK, God did not do it, the Holy Spirit did! Even weirder!

I mean come on! Supernatural fucking with a capital “S?” You have got to be kidding me!

Right about now is where I get hit with the “God’s wisdom is foolishness to man.”

Alright, so we are in agreement that hell is my “final destination.”
So? Have you ever been around a bunch of Christians? On the 9th Day (to borrow from Paul Harvey) God created boring Christians to sit in church every Sunday to tell God what a great guy He is. We are back to weird again.

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